So I finally did it...I submitted a short story (actually "flash fiction") for a contest. I haven't submitted anything for publication, other than for Writergrrls or SLL, in a really long time. We'll see how it goes. Flash fiction is a very new form for me to write in and I am not convinced that I did it justice. I didn't have anyone read it over and provide feedback. I didn't pay extra for feedback from the judge either. So maybe I will be amazed and win! But probably I won't place...and that's actually fine, too. At least I tried, which is about 100% better than what I've been doing for the past five years. :)

Dear Whomever Keeps Messing Up My House,

I don't know how you keep finding me. I've moved several times over the years, hoping evade your evil clutches. But here you are again. Always messing things up. Does the joy come from watching me labor over righting everything that you've destroyed?

You could help out every once in awhile, you know, actually put the dishes in the dishwasher. Take the wet clothes out of the washer and load them into the dryer. Fold the dry clothes. I leave you for sometimes 12 hours a day and yet you don't seem to find the time. Amazing.

If you want to wear my makeup, that's fine, just put it back in the cute little basket afterwards. The counter is just not big enough for all the stuff that you insist needs to go on it: makeup, flat iron, any number of brushes, toothepaste, hair dryer, perfume, medicine...I get it. It takes a lot of stuff for you to look good. I wouldn't know, since I've never actually seen you, but I have to be convinced by the sheer number of items left out. I don't think that I did it. I have too much respect for a clean house.

Oh, and it's okay to play a DVD; please put it back in the zipper case.

Oh, one more thing, if you're going to knit, then do it right. I had to rip back three rows on th fluer de lis scarf last night and I wasn't too happy about it.

Sincerely,
Nikki

It went from beastly hot on Sunday to overcast and chilly yesterday. Amazing.

I feel as though I am having a moderate cute day today. That's always a pleasant change!

I can't believe it's the middle of August already.

Tonight is my night off from the gym!

One of the few things that I miss about Wisconsin is the heat of the summer. Granted, three to four months of incessant sunshine and humity does have its tedious moments, but so does the rain here. But I prefer heat to being cold. This weekend it's been quite hot here. I've enjoyed it, but also have realized that I am sorely out of practice concerning heat. I wilt a little bit faster. I woke up this afternoon from what has become my usual Sunday afternoon nap, still dressed in a cute khaki skirt and rouched aqua shirt with tank top beneath (way too many layers for the weather) and felt disgusted with myself. The condo was a sauna. I am a hot sleeper to begin with, so that didn't improve matters either. I quickly changed and decided that fleeing was my only option. So, I went to the park in Bellevue, one of my favorite places, and spread out on the blanket and read The Scarlet Pimpernel. It's turning out to be quite a good book. I also watched the many many dogs in the park and on more than one occassion laughed out loud. There was a group of dogs, some of whom appeared to know each other (given that their owners will all talking together) and some that didn't. They're all doing dog kinds of things...including humping. It started with one small dog climbing onto another. Then that dog reciprocated. Then one of the voyeurs joined in. It was pretty funny. I feel as though I witnessed my first orgy. Their human counterparts didn't notice for quite some time, which only made it that much more hilarious. I am fairly certain that no impregnation was going on...just a "simulated" movement. And I don't know why it was so amusing to me. It was just so...not what I expected to see at the park.

I was hoping that the cute, rumpled hair blond guy sitting not too far away from me, who also observed this moment, would laugh as well, but he did not. He must not be a dog person.

It has cooled down substantially in the few hours that I was away. Perhaps sleeping tonight will be possible.

Dear God,

Is it fun for you to sit up there in your comfy Heaven and watch the men and women of the world misunderstand each other? I just don't get it. You say that you want us to all get along and procreate and marry (well, not in that order exactly if you interpret the Bible literally)...but how is that possible when men are just weird? Seriously. They are just too weird. One minute they're demonstrating flirty behavior and you think, "Oh I got this." and then the next minute they're scampering off and you're left with head scratching and scrunched eyebrows. (Insert "you" with "I") Every day I go through this....spend all weekend and every night deconstructing every smile, every instant message, every clever email and every time I arrive at a different answer. It just seems like this should all be easier. I spend way too much time trying to figure out the difference between "he's just a nice guy and you can't think that just because a guy is nice to you that he's interested" and "that's definitely chemistry and you can't deny it." Why isn't all this easier if you ultimately want us to get together? I know that the guys have complaints about us females (seems odd to me, but they do).

I have a list of demands:

1. Do not plant a cute, clever, nice guy in front of me that is this confusing. It's simply not funny anymore.

Okay, it's really just one demand. I made it really simple for you.

Sincerely,
Nikki

Here I am sitting in the morning, thinking I should blog since it's been awhile, but I don't really have much to talk about. The week has been pretty quiet. I did have to do a tour of local YMCAs on Tuesday looking for one that's open since the one next door and the one in Bellevue were both closed due to annual shutdowns. I ended up at the one I go to on Sundays in Bothell. I think there's one in downtown Bellevue, but I didn't know where exactly, so I opted for the one that I know. It was too late to watch Gilmore Girls and run anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Yesterday I was chosen to be a new employee's "first day buddy." All it really amounts to is introducing them to everyone, taking them to their office, and taking them to lunch. Not a huge deal, but it's the first time that I've been asked so I was excited. I find it incredibly amusing and ironic that I was so stoked to do it when in "real life" I hate introducing people. One example is at the work Christmas party I had my guest on one side of me....and then a co-worker came and sat on the other side of me. The three of us were the only people at the table. Co-worker and I chatted for awhile....and I never introduced them. Maybe it's something about my worlds colliding. lol I've been taught by the best to compartmentalize! :P

Where did my writing zest go? Must I have a writing class going to keep me motivated? Geesh!

Saturday I participated in some retail therapy. I drove up north to the retail outlets and bought a bunch of new clothes. Between being a smaller size and realizing that most of my shirt wardrobe was comprised of plain colored t-shirts, new clothes were in order. It was a successful trip. Previous shopping in earlier weeks had left me frustrated and wondering if I was all of a sudden just super picky about clothes, so I didn't have a lot of hope. I didn't find any shoes...or jewelry. But I did at least find one pair of jeans that weren't two miles too long - they are only one mile. There are only a few things nicer than having brand new clothes to wear to work on Monday. It feels kinda like the first day of school. :)

Last night I went to see The Dark Knight. It was pretty good. Christian Bale is never difficult to look at, although I have to admit that I prefer him as Laurie in Little Women (until Jo dumps him at least). Heath Ledger was eerily not Heath Ledger. I prefer to think of him in 10 Things I Hate About You. Much cheerier.

Saturday night I really just wanted to go out, do something. No one was around. I think I did laundry. So exciting!

I did knit some more on the scarf, though. I think I am nearing the end of the first half.

Dear Jeans/Pants Cutters,

I cannot help it that my mom, who brought to the DNA table an unfortunate lack of height, chose to procreate with someone who couldn't help her out in that department (in any departments, actually, but that is a separate letter). Believe me, I have learned that lesson and shall endeavor to make sure I don't repeat it. So here I am, all 5'2" of me. I like to wear pants. I like to wear cute jeans that I can turn in the mirror and say, aloud, "These are good butt jeans." Do you realize how difficult this is for me?

I think the average height for women is something like 5'5". Who knew that three inches of leg would make such a difference?

This weekend I went jeans shopping since I only have one pair of jeans and since winter approaches, I need at least one more pair. What a disaster. I went to several stores and tried on "petite" jeans. Every pair that I tried on were at least four inches too long. So does that mean you think a 5'5" person is actually petite? Is your mentality "US women's average height be damned"? What would the jeans be called that would actually fit me?

I know what you're thinking. "Be trendy and put some pointy-toed high heel shoes on and you'll be fine." I am telling you that these jeans are too long even for that. Besides that, I think Stacy and Clinton would even agree that a girl cannot wear heels all the time. Sometimes tennis shoes or a cute pair of flats are more appopriate.

Now, be honest: are you in cahoots with the tailoring industry? Are they paying you kickbacks for all the shortening of jeans that they're doing? Why would I want to pay at least $50 for a pair of jeans and then pay on top of that for the shortening? Of course, I could probably have a skirt made from all the extra denim that would be removed, so maybe it would be worth it. I may need to investigate it.

So far, Gap is the only place that I can find that actually is truthful about their "petite" size. However, their jeans are not derriere flattering jeans. (Sorry, Gap but they just aren't.) And, they're kinda pricey unless I accidentally stumple across a sale.

Can some manufacturer please help me? I beseech you!

Sincerely,
Nicole Jones

At a writing class I attended a couple weeks ago, the teacher talked briefly about a new genre of flash fiction/nonfiction. It's usually about 500 words or less. Now, I knew that this would be difficult for me to take on, but I thought it might be fun. Wow. It's a lot harder than I thought. I had an image come to mind on Friday night, so I wrote it. It was over 600 words, which maybe isn't so bad. I've spent the last couple hours trying to pare it down. I have finally gotten it down to 497. It feels so sparse, though. No dialogue. Not a whole bunch of imagery. I guess it's a good starting point. At least I am writing. :)

This was a pretty event-free weekend, which turned out to be pleasant enough. I had a softball game yesterday, which was lovely since it was so nice out. Last night I thought about going to see Dark Knight but made the mistake of taking a bath. Baths make me sleepy, so I ended up watching Castaway on TNT. Today I went to church and was supposed to babysit in the afternoon but it was cancelled due to the mom being sick. Although I feel badly that she's sick, I had to admit that having the night to do what I wanted was nice. I cleaned my room, did some laundry, went grocery shopping, talked to Keely and then my mom...All very laid back. I worked on the fleur de lis scarf (fleur #2 done!). Oh, and tried to burn down the house. Sigh, I put on a pan of water to boil so I could make some macaroni and then promptly forgot about it in my kntting frenzy. By the time I finally remembered, all the water had evaporated and the pan was starting to smolder. I may have an annoyingly great long-term memory, but my short-term memory could use some work!

I am thinking of dismantling my novel. I haven't decided for sure....but I haven't worked on it in ages and my motivation for finishing it isn't there. But, there are a lot of scenes that I really like in there. No reason why I can't dismember it and work on them separately. There's no reason why I can't do that and then later change my mind and put it all back together either. I can do whatever I want! :) I did reread my "acknowledgements" pages tonight...I still find it pretty funny that I have two pages of acknowledgements and no complete novel.

Keeping my fingers crossed that Favre beats Aaron Rodgers and is lead quarterback within the week!

I have spent the majority of this morning in my bed watching Gilmore Girls season three (oh how I love Jess!). It's one of those days when I am just irritated with the world...just anything that pops in my head becomes a huge pet peeve.

1. Guys just not getting it that I am smitten


2. or Guys that get it and are just too perfect yet not smitten in return


3. Text messages/calls not being returned promptly


4. The scale not budging even when I had a good eating/working out week


5. Substitute step-aerobics teacher sucking. Come on, make up a routine!


6. People taking themselves way too seriously at work


7. Getting weird vibes off of people despite no physical evidence to prove such vibe


8. Mika demanding to be fed by 7 am on Saturday


9. Jess not being in every episode of Gilmore Girls


10. Mountain Dew not being in a healty food group


11. No sunshine on an August weekend day


12. Hair growing too fast and a line forming from my last hair color, which was only two months ago


13. A duplicate of my bed frame being used in a tv show on a channel I despise


14. Parental guilt - especially from the one who isn't allowed to exercise that parental right


15. Knitting that doesn't knit itself magically while I am asleep

Some questions that I have:

1. Why did the woman I bought this condo from insist upon painting every $&^HNHE wall the exact same hue?


2. How is it that I've lived here nearly three years and I still only have one thing up on the walls of my bedroom?


3. Why isn't Mika laying beside me right now?


4. What is it about me that makes me so @$Y^%HY unappealing to guys?


5. Why do I bite my nails?


6. When can I actually enjoy weekends again?

Oh I have more questions but they're not for the blog. Instead, they replay as if on a continuous reel in my brain.

Sorry, I am just in a crappy mood.

Well, due to the nefarious work of spammers, I've had to scrap every little entry that was here and start over. (Thanks, Tim, for all your diligence!) It's not like I go back and read a lot of the entries...but it's been like a journal for me for going on 5 or 6 years. And now it's all gone. Maybe it's a providencial way of saying "stop living in the past"? I think it's more like "don't let the spammers win"!

I missed blogging. I missed getting the few comments that I get.