03/13/2007

Roots

I feel like lately I've avoided writing. Sure, the laptop and other writing acoutremot (I am sure that's totally misspelled but I don't have time to look it up.) are littering the living room. But I will do just about anything else but write: knitting, watching tv/movies, taking baths, etc. Now these are not senseless tasks...but it's really just avoidance. I don't know really why I haven't writing. I have some theories and that's about it. I've been unhappy lately and I am not sure if being unhappy is causing the distance from writing or the other way around. Perhaps a bit of both. So, last night I decided I need to DO something. Yes, knitting is fun...but it's not as good a medication for melancholy as writing is, I believe. So I've taken a few measures to kick myself in the butt. I set an alarm on my cell phone to remind me to stop whatever it is that I am doing and write. I've let myself believe for quite some time now that I can't write at home; I need to be out or I get too distracted. Well, that's silly. So, I moved off the couch and sat at the dining room table. I also started off with a writing exercise from my favorite writing exercise book and managed to write a scene about "Going Home" for nearly an hour. And that was just supposed to be the warmup! Satisfied with it, I returned to a short story I started ages ago. I am nearly finished with it....although I am unsure exactly how it's going to end. Ending stories is always a problem for me. And I don't have a good twist yet. The first one that I thought of was just too contrived. I have a small one...but I need something better. And as always happens when I am writing, I had an idea to explain something and realized that I am going to have to set that up earlier in the story, otherwise it, too, will be too contrived. The story is about 13 pages now...not exactly short. But the editing comes later, I suppose.

It felt good to write in the writing journal for the first time in a long time. Because of the novel, I had gotten into the habit of thinking I needed to be working in the laptop. But I have a buttload of awesome journals that deserve to be filled with more than monologues and diatribes lamenting my sorry little life. I need to start carrying my writing journal with me all the time, because sometimes I get ideas for things and don't have anything to write it in.

I didn't even have any music on when I wrote last night.

I noticed that my penmanship sucked last night. I am not sure if this is because of 1)Knitting so much lately has tired my small motor skills 2)I'm out of practice with writing because I type so much 3)My brain was thinking too quickly for my poor little left hand to keep up.

I've found today that my mood is improved a bit here at work. I am irritated by things, but am at least able to pretend like I'm not as irritated as I actually am. I will consider that a victory. :)

Thing to remember: I am a writer first, knitter after that.