Who Am I To You?
I just sent an e-mail message to a friend, who has always known me as "Nikki," and accidentally signed it as "Nicole" before I realized what I'd done and deleted it and wrote the proper name. It used to be that
no one called me "Nicole" except my mom on the rare occassion that she was trying to get my attention or was irritated with me, and generally she used my full name. Sure, my real name was on all my various paperwork here and there, but not even my teachers called me that except maybe new teachers...on the first day of school or something. Then I went to college. I found that rarely do professors lower themselves to call their students by name, but when they did, they usually called me "Nikki" because that's what they heard other students calling me...at least at the community college. When I transferred to UWL, this happened less often because I didn't really know anyone. Anyway. When I moved out here, though, and started applying for jobs and such, my alter ego of "Nicole" presented herself more often. My friends and such still called me Nikki, but I'd made the transition at work to full-time Nicole, as well as in other arenas like Writergrrls. It's even gotten so that at restaurants, when I need to make a reservation or leave my name on a list for a table, I use Nicole. I think this is partially due to the fact more people know how to spell it correctly than my nickname, which has a multitude of possibilities and whenever someone misspells it, it pains me. Once, at a Writergrrl meeting, when I introduced myself to a new person as "Nikki" the rest of the group was shocked; I guess they had never heard me refer to myself as anything other than Nicole. So. I guess I have a split personality and while usually I can keep track of who I am to whom, sometimes I forget. Especially if I am at work, where I am "Nicole" writing an e-mail to a friend, who knows me as "Nikki." I don't think that anyone who has never had a nickname can quite understand this predicament.
I used to be offended, way back when, when a friend would call me Nicole. At my five year high school class reunion, a friend (albeit not a close friend) had the audacity to say that Nikki was a little girl nickname. What I thought later and wished that I would have thought of at the time and had the gumption to say to her was, "Well, at least I have a choice of names...unlike you who is stuck with the name TruLee." Yes, folks, that is her name, complete with the capitalized L in the middle of her name. I know it's not her fault...but one with a name issue shouldn't throw stones, if you ask me.
I know people who are staunchly against nicknames for their children, especially the ones with longish names (and this is not a finger pointed at just you, Marie!). Their argument usually is that "If I wanted my child to be called (insert nickname) I would have named him/her that." That's a fair argument. I am not sure that I agree with it, though. I don't know how I feel about it. I suppose I am hardly in a possession to be objective. :)
Hey, Marie...do you remember when you wanted us to call you Mimi? :)
What is this diatribe about nicknames? Oh, I don't know. I just felt like going on and on about something fairly benign and arbitrary. It's funny how the names I like, either for my own future kids (should I ever get to have any) or the characters in my stories never have nicknames. I just realized that now. Just like they never have siblings. But that's a whole 'nother monologue. :)
Nikki on 06.08.05 @ 09:52 AM PST [
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