2003

When Keely and I lived together a couple years ago, we used to joke that MTV should come and do an episode of MTV Cribs at our place. Now, I feel fairly confident that my life this past year would have had moderate success as a reality based show. It's been an interesting year; nothing horrible happened and lots of good things happened, which is about exactly the opposite of the year before that. I say, if Jessica Simpson sitting around debating tuna/chicken can get high ratings, then my life could, too. Although, she does have that hot blond/full bosom/hot husband thing going...Anyway. Here are some good episodes, I think.

• driving again


• dates that ended with me forgetting their names and only referring to them as Bat Boy (formerly known as Beach Boy), Game Boy, Crazy-Book Boy, Young-D, etc.


• going to clubs. I think that the Last Supper Club incident could win some awards.


• the Golden Gardens all hell broke loose bonfire


• taking ASL


• writing the novel


• another seizure


• the chatty Kathy Valentine's Day


• almost getting shot on 5th and Union


• Wendy's wedding


• birthday in Vancouver


• Thanksgiving in Victoria


• getting contacts

There are others, of course, so as you can see, I could easily squeeze an entire season out of my meager life. I think I have to stick with MTV, though. Cable is really the only venue for my life. :)



I know that the colors still suck on this page...I am working on it. Today.



Oh, Christmas pictures coming soon. My cousin, Taylor, is so cute!

Nikki on 12.30.03 @ 11:29 AM PST [link]

Sigh

I don't know about these colors...I want something different, but I don't know what I want. It's just so boring. Maybe I should worry about the non-index pages first...The thing is, I don't remember the color numbers, to put this mess back together. Crap. I should have wrote them down or something. I'll figure something out.



Countdown til I go back to Wisconsin: (not counting today or the day of travel) 1.



I got a new phone upgrade. It's pretty nifty. I splurged for the .99 and downloaded Avril Lavine's Complicated as my primary ring tone. It reminds me of someone I used to know and it's just a fun little song. :)



What am I going to do for New Years??

Nikki on 12.19.03 @ 10:10 AM PST [link]

Color Changes

I am trying to change the look a little of the page. Please bear with me while I find a color scheme that works. I know it looks bad right now...I'm not the greatest when it comes to choosing colors. Tim!!! HELP!!! :)

Nikki on 12.18.03 @ 11:04 AM PST [link]

Books and Movies

When a movie is coming out that looks interesting to me and I know that it was a book first, I always try to read the book first. And if not, then at least read it at some point. Now, I've seen the movie Where the Heart Is several times. I can't remember if I knew it was a book or not, but at some point I discovered it. Yesterday I went to Half Priced Books and purchased it (for a whopping $2!). I was a little annoyed that it was an Oprah book. Through no purpose, I've managed to read more than just a few of the books on her list...and I guess it's not bad, but I fear that it makes me look like one of her followers, which I am not, or that I am not very creative in my book choices, which I like to think that I am. Anyway, I bought the book. I've only read a few chapters, but so far it's pretty good. Although, I can't figure out why in the book, Novalie's number is seven and in the movie it's 5. Why make that change? Seems pretty arbitrary...but seven makes more sense. But I also like how things are explained in the book...certain things that appeared in the movie and seemed significant but there was no backstory to explain it. For instance, in the middlish of the movie, Novalie gets a new house and on the deck she has one of those umbrella tables where she's drinking chocolate milk. Unless I've just seen the tv version too many times and the explanation for this specific detail has been cut, it just doesn't make sense. But in the book it is explained: her dream is to have a house with one of those tables. There. That was easy. So anyway, it's stuff like that that always makes me happy to read the book.



Speaking of books, I am far, far away from my two book a month goal for the year. I probably won't even make one book per month for the year! What is wrong with me? I used to always read in bed before I went to bed. I have to get into that habit again. I need to stop watching Roseanne reruns until midnight so that I have time to read. I need to do a lot of things...



Like, work on the novel. The plan is, while I am in Wisconsin for the holidays, to do just that. I wish my laptop was a little nicer and more reliable (the stupid screen keeps whiting out for about 1/4 at the top). Every year at this time, I think about buying a laptop. Sigh. No, it's better this way. Then, after Already Monday is a bestseller and I am on the book tour, I can talk about how I wrote the book on a dilapidated laptop. :) It's that whole rags to riches story that people just love!



I am sorry to say that the last of the Lush bath bombs and bubble bath has been used. Sigh...I still have plenty of soap and somewhere, if I can just find it, I have the lip balm. I love that store.

Nikki on 12.18.03 @ 10:03 AM PST [link]

Grades

I've been checking for my grades since Thursday, when one of my classmates mentioned that he had received his already, for some other class. Finally, this morning, the grade showed up for ASL...(drumroll....) I got an A! Now, this doesn't come as a complete shock, but since there were four book quizzes whose grades were unaccounted for and homework that was never returned and I don't know exactly how I did on the finals, I thought there was the chance of a slightly lesser grade, no matter what my classmates thought. I was ecstatic to see the A, not even an A- (at UWL, these were called A/Bs). For the first time, I have a 4.0 gpa. :) If any of you are gradecentric, you will understand what this means.



Last night I went to the Candy Cane Lane in Ravenna. It was very pretty, although I'd imagined it to be bigger than what it actually was. However, it was fun. It reminded me a little of when my grandparents lived in Houston. We visited them there when I was in the 5th grade and they took us out to look at the spectacular light displays that people did. If I remember correctly, there were competitions; if three to five houses agreed to decorate, they qualified as a "block" and were judged, although I don't know on exactly what. People went nuts. There was no need for street lights or even headlights on your car for that matter, because it was illuminated everywhere. Well, Candy Cane Lane probably wouldn't have won any prizes in Houston, but for Seattle, it was pretty good. Each house had a sign in the yard with the word "Peace" but each was written in a different language. Now, either that is the most ethnically diverse block in the city (meaning, the language matched the ethnicity of the family within) or maybe each house randomly selects a language to represent or each house was assigned a language way back when the tradition began in 1946 and the language stays with the house, even when the house is sold. And I also wonder if it is a requirement of whomever purchases the house to participate in the tradition. What if someone wanted to move into the neighborhood who was anti-Christmas? Or objected to spending the extra cash on what has to be a very large electric bill for those weeks. Can the neighborhood veto them? Anyway, it was pretty and some of the houses were fairly creative.



An odd thing happened to me this morning. I woke up before the alarm! Sometimes this happens and I look at my watch, thank God that there's still more time to sleep, and promptly resume slumber. But instead, I listened to the radio, then got up and layed on the couch, watching the Today Show. Mika, also surprised to see me up and about so early, cuddled with me briefly. Then, I cooked breakfast: scrambled eggs and toast. I cannot remember the last time, if it ever occured, I cooked myself a standard breakfast on a week day. I rarely eat breakfast at all and on the rare occassion that I do, it's, maybe, toast. Incredible. Is the world ending? It's definitely a sign of something...although it's probably a little less ominous than that.



Girls are coming over tonight and we're decorating Christmas cookies. I still have to buy some sprinkles and the goods to make the vegetables in the bread concoction. Will that recipe ever be named???

Nikki on 12.16.03 @ 11:26 AM PST [link]

Final Grades

A classmate told me that today our grades are supposed to be posted! I checked, and so far mine hasn't been posted yet. So that means I will continue to refresh the stupid page all day long. And then, it probably won't be posted anyway! lol I don't know why I care so much about the grade; it's not like it matters. I have my fricking degree. But I am competitive. And somehow a good grade boosts my ever fragile self-perception. It reminds me that I am smart...because often times I forget it or don't acknowledge it. Somehow, graduating in the top six in high school and earning good grades and graduating from college seems like a fluke to me. But then when I talk to people who really struggle with school and learning and I compare it to my experience, I am reminded that not everyone excels in that kind of learning environment, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I have been blessed with a good memory and the ability to write, which are two things prove extremely useful in an education. Also, I am good at figuring out what a teacher wants and likes and spewing it forth time and time again. That, too, is good, but has its drawbacks. Anyway. Enough about that.



This morning, I didn't feel like putting my contacts in. But then I looked outside and saw that mysterious glowing orb in the sky and remembered my sunglasses in my car. So, in went the contacts. I love sunglasses. I need a cooler pair, though. The pair I have is the cheap pair I bought for the photoshoot. They're okay, but I'm not convinced that they're the best shape.



I am having difficulty buying Christmas presents this year. I am feeling very selfish and only want to buy things for me! And then I get into trouble because certain people are complaining that I am difficult to buy for, one reason because I simply buy what I want when I see it. My grandpa is the same way, so I must have inherited it. Anyway. This weekend I must finish my shopping...or should I say begin it? No, not begin, because I have a few things purchased. "Begin" intimates that I have nothing and that's not the case. I have to buy the bulk of my presents this weekend. Ugh.



I am worried about what I am going to do when I have kids and have to discipline them because I can't even discipline my cat without laughing! Last night, Mika was trying to climb the Christmas tree. I shouted at her and told her no a dozen times to no avail. At one point, I thought she'd been successful because I couldn't see her anymore. I was laughing so hard while peering into the branches that I couldn't see that she was simply hovering on the floor on the other side of the tree. What's going to happen when one of my kids is sitting on the kitchen floor getting ready to consume a bottle of Glass Plus? Am I going to start laughing?? Oh dear.

Nikki on 12.12.03 @ 01:04 PM PST [link]

Mistletoe

Truth be told, my quest for mistletoe wasn't really about forcing some innocent guy to kiss me. That might be a nice ancillary benefit (depending on who :) ) but actually it has more to do with tradition, or the want of tradition. See, my family never had any cool Christmas traditions. The only one that I can think of, that might be unique, is when I was a kid, since we always opened presents on Christmas Eve, my grandpa took me out to see the lights and while we did that, "Santa" came and left the presents. We never had any special meal or special order to things. Once the presents were handed out, it was a free for all. There weren't any family heirloom decorations or lighting ceremony or anything. And I am not saying that the lack scarred me forever or anything. I remember plenty of awesome holidays. But, there are two kinds of decorations that I've always coveted and swore that I would always have when I had my own place: mistletoe and candles in every window.



Now, my apartment doesn't have too many windows, so the candle thing just doesn't make much sense. It's really only effective if you live in a giant brick house with big ole windows looking out over every direction...well, okay, maybe the house doesn't have to be brick, but the more windows there are, the easier it is for passersby to recognize the fact that you're observing the traditional "putting a candle in every window" observance. I think it has to do with "so loved ones can find their way home" or something. So anyway, candles (even the electric kind) are out right now. But then there's this other one...Mistletoe. I knew that I could handle that one. I have plenty of rooms, thus doorways, in my apartment.



You'd think that it would be easy to find. Alas, this was not the case. I went to Target, Fred Meyer, Kmart...you know where I finally found it? Ben Franklin! And it wasn't expensive either! So I bought some for every doorway. And now I feel complete. :)

Nikki on 12.10.03 @ 12:59 PM PST [link]

Finishing Touches

I need mistletoe and then the house will be done. But can I find it? No. Well, I found one plastic version at K-Mart but it was ugly and I needed more than one. Can anyone help me out here?



I did buy a new tree skirt, although I think they're highly overpriced! But it's so pretty...



Tonight's the ASL final. I think I am ready. I'm pretty sure that I am. I haven't bothered to memorize all the stupid acronyms...I don't know why I am so resistant to learning them, but there it is.



All my Christmas cards/letters are finished, I just have to go buy some stamps. I hate standing in line at the post office...argh. That's one reason why Taylor's birthday present and Mom's Mother's Day present never got mailed! Yikes!

Nikki on 12.09.03 @ 02:46 PM PST [link]

Shades

This weekend I got to wear sunglasses for the first time in years! Woohoo! I even wore them while I drove to work this morning. :)



I did a lot of tutoring for ASL this weekend. I went kinda crazy and made this elaborate Jeopardy game for Sunday night's session. The frustrated teacher in me was pretty happy. I think it helped my pupils out. :) One of them wants me to come back again tonight...even though I spent the sum of 5.5 hours with him this weekend...I need an excuse not to go! Help! I'm not good at just saying no!



I got no housework done.



I forgot that when you have contacts, you have all this added paraphenalia, too. For instance, this morning, I couldn't just put them in and go. I feel the need to pack a long my glasses, extra saline solution, etc. In case. Like, what if I need to stay over on the Eastside at Keely's or something and I don't have my glasses? Or what if my eyes get really dry and I need some saline solution? Oh well, it's not too high of a price to pay for the glory of contacts.

Nikki on 12.08.03 @ 11:00 AM PST [link]

Deck the Halls, Uh, Apartment

There is something very unromantic about going to Home Depot to pick out a Christmas tree. It's not like I wanted to go and chop down my own in the forest, trudging through the snow, with a hatchet. But, I was afraid that if I went to a tree lot, they might not tie it to the car for me, and this I needed. I had it on good authority that Home Depot would provide this service. So, I went last night to the one on Aurora, perused the selection...And just let me say, should any Home Depot person be reading this, that really, it's quite difficult to pick out a tree when the majority of them are bound with twine. It takes too long, and it was too cold, and the trees too wet, to unbind them. So, I found one that was freed and after deciding it was worthy enough to accompany me back to and live in my house for the next 3-4 weeks, paid for it. The cashier told me that they're not really supposed to help people tie the trees to their car, for liability reasons. So I used my feminine whiles and seduced him into submission! :) It actually fit mostly in the trunk of the car, so all he had to do was help me tie the trunk lid down. I manhandled the thing back out of my car and half dragged, half carried it back to the apartment where I proceeded to vacuum a dozen times because the needles kept shedding. All in all, I think it's a pretty cool looking tree. I was afraid that I didn't have enough ornaments; I've been buying some here and there. But I think it looks fairly balanced; there's room for more should my collection grow but it's fine as is. Here are some pictures:



The tree with just the lights on it.

Lights and a variety of garland.

Lights, garland, and ornaments.

Me putting the angel topper on. Thank goodness for timers on cameras!



Did you notice how many of the pics had Mika hovering under the tree? She apparantly loves the tree. She enjoyed drinking from the tree holder. She's already destroyed an ornament. She keeps messing up the pitiful tree skirt. I should replace that.



Decorations for the rest of the place are coming along, too. I replaced the pictures on the fridge to all Christmas or winter related. Most of them, actually, are of me when I was a kid. Is that too egotistical? I changed the tablecloth to one with snowflakes. Oh, and then there are candles and such, too. It doesn't seem quite festive enough, though. I don't know what else to get!



(How do you like my Christmas pajamas? I love the pants! The stripes on them are just like a candy cane and I love the santiny material. I bought a tank top to wear with it [which is actually under the green t-shirt that you see], but I just couldn't wear it in the pictures!)



I still need to get mistletoe! I will not rest til I have some for every doorway!!

Nikki on 12.04.03 @ 12:01 PM PST [link]

Poetry

Last night, ready to go to bed but not to sleep, and having no new reading material in the house, I picked out a book of poetry that I've had for awhile. Now, I have attempted to read this book several times over the course of the several years that I've owned it. I have found only one poem in it that I like, First Love by Sharon Olds. (I would write the poem here, but I don't know if it's copyright infringing. I can't find it online to link to, either.) But I continue to return to the book, to many poetry books, because I feel like a hypocrite. I have never really enjoyed reading poetry. Before college, it was because I didn't understand the form. During and after college, after I had taken all these literature and writing classes that helped me to deconstruct the writing and get at least a surface level understanding of the metaphor, endjambment, synchopation, etc., I still didn't, for the most part. I remember opening a book and seeing hideously long epic poems to read (T.S. Eliots' Prufrock comes to mind) and then, simply closing the book. Sonnets, at least, were more manageable to my eyes. Last night, as I perused the poems in the book, I began to wonder why some of the authors wrote the poems in the first place.



Which leads me to feeling like a hypocrit. Because, I write poetry. It was never a conscious decision. Sometimes, some things are better written in the form of a (short) poem than a short story or in narrative nonficiton. But is it really okay for me to be writing poems when I don't even like the form in the first place? If I don't want to read them, detest being asked to read them (for the most part...of course there are exceptions), how can I write and expect people to read mine? In my defense, I do write short poems (about 14 lines generally) so at least it's not aesthetically overwhelming. And the lines are short, too. And I think my imagery is pretty easy to understand. Of course I have embedded allusions that, if you know me or something that I've gone through, you'll understand, yet if you don't, probably doesn't affect the comprehension of the overall tone or message. I love doing that. It's like a treasure map. Or something. Anyway. If I could consciously choose to give up writing poetry (which I don't think I can since I never chose it in the first place) should I, for this reason? It's not like I'm fighting the impulse to write some fantastic poem right now. I haven't written anything more than that humorous bad date haiku in over a year.



This leads me to another writing quandry that I've found myself grappling with forever. Why is it easier to write when I am unhappy or depressed? Even if I am writing about something happy, it's easier to do so when I am melancholy. That's just weird. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not asking for things to suddenly start falling apart. I happen to like being happy! :) So, I would rather not write than be productive as an artist?? But I can't imagine not writing. But I don't want to be sad all the time. Do I need to be medicated????? :)

Nikki on 12.03.03 @ 11:37 AM PST [link]